Modern Dog Magazine Home

The Schnauzer

maggie — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:35:52 -0500

Look into the face of a Schnauzer and it’s not hard to see him as the Dumbledore of dogdom. The arched, fringing brows, the profuse, bristling beard, and the gleam of deep intelligence and, yes, humour in those dark eyes, make it easy to imagine a Schnauzer passing on sage advice to Hairy Potter, sharing a joke with his young protégé, or teaching a class in Defence Against the Bark Arts.

But are they truly wizards or just really, really smart? After all, this is the breed that their owners like to call “the dog with the human brain.”

Doggedly Pursuing Green

admin — Fri, 09 May 2008 11:10:04 -0400

March 2008

As a leading publication catering to one of the fastest growing demographics in North America, Modern Dog brings the reader award-winning photography, insightful and amusing editorial, and answers to pressing canine-related questions. Over the past few years we have been looking at our industry and learning how to make it greener by incorporating earth-conscious and sustainable business practices in to our operation. We have changed our product, our content, and our office practices to address and minimize the impact Modern Dog has on the planet.

Our medium is paper so where it is sourced from and how it is harvested is a primary concern. It took us almost three years to find a stock that was not only environmentally sound, but comparable to the look and feel our publication had had up to that point. Our second concern was cost, making the switch needed to be financially feasible. Within the last year we have been able to source a premium grade 2 paper stock that consists of 10% post consumer waste (pcw) and is certified as an environmentally and socially responsible choice by the Forest Stewardship Council (FSC). In order to receive FSC certification, the forestry practices carried out by a timber company need to be verified by an independent third party. Our certification attests to our paper coming from well managed forests and consisting of recycled wood or fiber. As the quality of the stock is important to us, it was necessary to obtain numerous samples of various grades of FSC paper and mocked up books before the final decision could be made. Thankfully we found a stock that was within our budget yet maintained our high production standards. With our fall 2007 issue we went green. Switching our stock was the first of a number of changes we are looking to make in the future. An electronic version of the magazine will be available to our readers by June 1^st, 2008 and as well, we're looking at switching to vegetable-based inks and biodegradable polywrap (ours is currently recyclable). Looking ahead we are committed to continued environmental responsibility and feel greener production for the publishing industry as a whole is only going to become easier as suppliers, distributors, and buyers become more aware.

As a company with a high profile, we feel it's important for us to set a good example in all that we do. We prefer to order our office supplies from an independent local retailer specializing in low impact products, and find the cost equitable with big brand name distributors. Every item we purchase from the independent results in fewer resources used to manufacture non-friendly products, putting less waste into our landfills. As well, we use light emitting diode (LED) bulbs, 100% recycled paper for all printers and copiers and are looking into off-setting our power use with our local hydro company. We also print our business reply cards, inserts, and outserts on a minimum of 50% recycled cardstock. And, of course, being a dog-friendly office, all our poo-bags are biodegradable (though, unfortunately, as we learned the hard way, not all bio-degradable poo-bags are created equal; research and samples are key).

To get Modern Dog into the hands of our readers, we rely on large shipments of the magazine to be sent to distribution plants on either side of North America. We plan our shipments well enough in advance to be able to use less-than-load (LTL) shipping companies where we share trailer space with other freight going in the same direction to be as efficient as possible. Working out of more than one shared warehouse allows us to choose the shortest shipping distance for our magazines when supplying them to events and charitable fundraisers, reducing the amount of carbon we produce in moving the magazines. Our readers pitch in and help us out by re-using the magazines as well; we have a pass along rate of ten people per copy!

Modern Dog magazine reaches a high-income demographic that wants to spend money on their pets. By highlighting environmentally conscious companies, earth-friendly dog gear and our favorite eco-products, we are spreading the word that it's in style to be green. We take our responsibility as members of the media seriously and use our magazine to encourage awareness among our readership. In our Fall 2007 issue we acknowledged that actions speak louder than words and featured six entrepreneurs who learned that charity begins at the office and that even a small company can make a big change in the world.

Green your Publication:

PRODUCT: FSC is not the only organization representing our forests. Check with your printer - they should be able to point you in the right direction. Also note that in order to be certified, all parties involved (i.e., mill, printer, etc.) must also be certified. Take the time to source your stock; paper that contains post consumer waste can vary in quality.
PRODUCTION: Let your printer know you are interested in greening your product. As this movement becomes more mainstream, pricing for vegetable based inks and green polybagging will become more reasonable, not to mention more readily available. Schedule shipping in advance, that way your freight can travel with other shipments along the same route.
WASTE: Print what you need. We are very particular about our numbers and print only what we expect to distribute. We are also distributed by a company that collects newsstand returns and re-distributes them to waiting rooms across the country. This program not only saves these copies from being destroyed, but gets our product into the hands of new readers.
DATA: Writer submissions, and the majority of our correspondence, are managed through email. To lessen the amount of mailing waste to subscribers, be very careful to maintain correct addresses and contact information.
CONTENT: Use your voice to highlight and give credit to other companies and organizations that are doing their part. Encourage your readers to think about their purchases and their own impact on the environment.
LOCAL: green your office by reducing the amount of waste and encourage recycling and re-use programs. Little changes can do big things: subsidize public transit passes for your employees; change incandescent bulbs to LED's to reduce your energy costs; source office supplies from local companies and contact your power company to find out about offsetting your businesses use.

New York Dogs

maggie — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:28:04 -0400

It’s not possible to fully appreciate just how many New Yorker cartoons have been published since 1925 until you attempt to lift their recently issued The Complete Cartoons of The New Yorker with one hand. Weak-wristed readers be warned. It’s not merely a coffee-table book: add a sturdy base to it and you have bedtime reading that doubles as a decent nightstand when you close the cover. Weighing in at over nine pounds, it’s as thick as the Manhattan Yellow Pages, the size and shape of the Ten Commandments tablet, and possessed of comparable heft and authority. It weighs more than many newborns. Having said that, The New Yorker’s latest offspring is not exactly comfortable to cradle in one’s arms. At least it doesn’t cry when you pick it up. But enough said about its embarrassment of riches.

On assignment to chronicle the venerable tradition of the New Yorker dog cartoon, I wondered how many days or weeks it would take me to extract them from the 68,647 cartoons compiled in this massive volume. Fortunately for me, the book’s 656 pages contain only 2,004 cartoons. The rest of the collection is contained on two searchable CD-ROMS that come with it. Looking for dog cartoons by a certain cartoonist in a particular decade is as easy as typing in a keyword. (You can access the cartoon bank’s search engine—and much more—at www.cartoonbank.com.)

To quote Hollywood’s most quoted folksy philosopher, this collection of all The New Yorker cartoons ever published is addictive, like a box of chocolates, and you never know what you’re going to find next. Dipping in and out of the book is the fun of it.

There are 1,702 dog cartoons identified by The New Yorker’s search engine, from the 1920s to the present day. Currently, the most-requested on the website is one of a dog sitting at a computer terminal, instructing another dog: “On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.”

New Yorker cartoon humans are droll, world-weary, innocent, but not without guile. They’re cosmopolitan sophisticates, in tune with the latest trends, ready to trade gestalt therapists for personal trainers as the zeitgeist dictates, yet forever confused by the lightning-fast shifts of modern life. They wear their foibles on their sleeves.

It should come as no surprise, then, to realize that New Yorker dogs share similar traits—except they are wiser and more cynical than their human counterparts. In fact, The New Yorker’s dog cartoons aren’t really about dogs. Bourgeois New Yorker dogs are actually bourgeois New Yorker people with long noses, floppy ears and swishy tails. The humour, habits, obsessions and misbehaviours of our pets are deployed by cartoonists to satirize human folly and human absurdities. It’s only when we see ourselves as dogs that we realize how silly are the highfalutin human ideas and aspirations we take so seriously. The typical New Yorker cartoon reveals the puniness and insignificance of the big things in life, as in “James Joyce’s refrigerator,” with its to-do list: “1. Call bank. 2. Dry cleaners. 3. Forge in the smithy of my soul the uncreated conscience of my race. 4. Call Mom.”

Such gentle social satire is the oxygen The New Yorker breathes, and the de-fanged editorial topicality of their cartoons delivers new life to the magazine with each passing year. The New Yorker’s cartoon editor, Robert Mankoff, says that what makes these cartoons unique is that “they make a point about who we are, the way we live. New Yorker cartoons are not mean. They poke fun at ourselves. They are more than just funny jokes.”

There are numerous categories of New Yorker dog cartoons, and each one strives to peel off a layer of human defence with a variety of approaches as harsh as an acid bath or as refreshingly light as a hand wiping fog from a window. One oft-seen cartoon standard substitutes dogs for humans engaged in typical human activities or situations (two dogs gaze at a model of a typical doghouse placed on a coffee table: “It’s just the architect’s model, but I’m very excited.”), sometimes with unpredictably illuminating results that rely on the multiple meanings of many English words (woman explaining to husband their dog dressed in cape and top hat: “Howard, I think the dog wants to go out.”)

At times the demons of our darker side come through: a scowling dog tells the bartender dispensing Kibbles and Bits to “Leave the box”; while two female dogs sitting at the bar bitch about male dogs: “They’re all sons of bitches.” But most often our human failings are served up as a feast of satirical tidbits, as in one frustrated dog saying to another: “Pee on the carpet! That’s your solution to everything.”

A typical New Yorker dog cartoon uses our canine friends to shed light on everything from human relationships to the latest psychobabble, and to crack open our view of life with cliché-busting glee (an X-ray reveals that a dog has actually eaten some homework), sometimes to heartrending effect (lovestruck dog with cat cuddled up to him says to devastated ex-partner dog, “We laugh at the same things.”)

Another strain of New Yorker dog humour reveals us, usually less than flatteringly, as dogs—or perhaps our dog stand-ins in the human world—might see us (a retreiver’s thoughts after dutifully fetching a stick: “It’s always ‘good dog,’ never ‘great dog.’”). There are New Yorker dogs depicted in a human context, calculated to prick the hot-air bubbles of our pretensions and to expose our hypocrisies and prejudices, as when the caption above a dog gazing at the heavens reads: “Without making a big deal out of it, dogs often question the existence of an almighty.”

Yet more subtle variations on this theme specialize in using dogs to caricature our neurotic preoccupations and our most perplexing phobias (dog on a psychiatrist’s couch complains: “They moved my bowl,” while another confesses: “They think they’re accidents”). They lampoon our philosophies of life (same dog on psychiatrist’s couch ruminates: “I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they’re not a cult?”), parody our biases (two shaggy dogs remark on a clipped Poodle: “I don’t trust a dog that doesn’t shed”), and chronicle the social issues du jour: a professional dog walker is seen marching his charges down the street, single-file, at gunpoint.

Through the decades we see deft commentary on the latest social, economic and political realities (businessman to his dog: “I’ll lay it out for you. We’re cutting back, and we no longer need a dog” ID 22665) and other signs of the times (dog therapist asks a group therapy session of dogs: “O.K., who else has experienced the best-friend relationship as inadequate?”) that tap in to our deepest insecurities.

Occasionally, a cartoon will simply highlight a cultural quirk or social tic in a way that requires no deeper explication: “The Dog Formerly Known as Prince” steps out from a doghouse crested above the doorway with the symbol of the Artist Formerly Known as Prince.

And then there are the dog cartoons that are actually about dogs beings dogs: canine waiter hauls an overflowing trash can to dog seated at restaurant table: “The special, sir. Shall I spread it out or will you knock it over yourself?” ID 42887 or two dogs sniffing each other’s behinds: “What say we find another way to say hello?”

It’s doubtful that dog behaviour has changed significantly since 1925, even if the way we perceive dogs has altered, but the human society in which our pets so masterfully coexist has undergone a complete transformation over the past eight decades, and we humans have learned a few new tricks along the way. If our sense of humour has changed along with our collective situation, then it stands to reason that the way we use dogs to comment on the human condition has evolved along the same path, and one place to locate the trajectory of that change is in the New Yorker’s dog cartoons.

Those which date from before the current cultural epoch (say, before 1990 or thereabouts) seem not so much stale or quaint as blunted, their edges dulled, their ability to skewer us—and the possibility of achieving the self-effacing sense of redemption that comes from that power—having come and gone. Case in point: the humor in some of the earliest dog cartoons eludes me as completely as the dog on the Internet joke would baffle a reader from the 1920s. In contrast, the socially attuned and self-aware humour of the present era has me laughing out loud at how unerringly the current crop of New Yorker artists punctures the thin veneer of our ever-more-inane-seeming existence.

The best New Yorker cartoons refuse to let you off the hook, even when the spectacle of human folly is transmitted through the avatar of a mirthful dog. The laugh is on us. And we are better off for it.

If the future generations of robots who dominate the planet a millennium or two hence unearth a mouldy, dog-eared copy of The Complete Cartoons of the New Yorker and mistake its hand-drawn icons for a Rosetta stone of the paleohomosapiens era, our civilization’s reputation won’t fare too badly if those superior beings have been programmed with a human sense of humour and a love of cyberdogs.

Virginia Madsen Interview

maggie — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:35:50 -0400

Actress Virginia Madsen has spent most of her career playing girlfriends, femmes fatales and sexy blondes, but her recent role as a wine-savvy waitress in the low-budget film Sideways has boosted her career into high gear. With the role earning her a Best Supporting Actress award from the National Society of Film Critics, a nomination for a Screen Actors Guild award, and plenty of Oscar buzz, Sideways has turned Virginia’s world upside-down.

In addition to her film roles, she is also working on a musical. “I’m working hard on the talent show at my son’s school,” she says with a laugh. “He’s Elvis and rocks hard.” Virginia gives credit to her nine-year-old Elvis wannabe, Jack, for taking care of the family’s dogs, Dixie, a mutt they rescued from a desert roadside, and Spike, a French Bulldog. Spike demands the most attention, Virginia says, but is a sweet companion—except at night: “Jack loves to sleep with him... until he [Spike, that is] starts snoring.”

MODERN DOG: So tell me about your two dogs.

VIRGINIA MADSEN: Dixie, the larger of the two, is our desert dog, a mutt rescued in the Santa Fe desert by Antonio, Jack’s dad. She was hit by a car and was found on the side of the road. She had a tattoo! We figured she’d escaped her carnival past and was on the lam when an old trucker named Joe fell asleep at the wheel and struck her down. She still gets a bit sensitive when I want to show people her tattoo. We’re not altogether sure how old she is.

Spike, looking like our little cow, is the bull. Spike’s about five years old. He was given to my son, Jack, by one of my brother’s [actor Michael Madsen’s] boys. Jack is just amazing with animals and loves to sleep with Spike—that is, until Spike snores.

MD: How did you decide on the names Dixie and Spike?

VM: Dixie was named after a character I played, and Spike—well, he decided on that name because he believes he is big.

MD: Which of the two dogs has more of your personality?

VM: Dixie is a lady so she won't kiss and tell. Spike is French. Need I say more?

MD: Please do.

VM: Well, he knows that wherever he goes, he is loved by many. He is deeply romantic and is overrun by girl-dogs. I understand, and never hold it against him. Dixie is confident enough to know that he only comes home with her.

MD: What breed of dog would you say you’re most like, and why?

VM: I am definitely not a pure breed! I'm a mix like Dixie, with a past but with an even temper and a loving nature.

MD: If Spike was a celebrity who would he be?

VM: P. Diddy!

MD: Can you tell us something about these breeds that people might not know?

VM: People should know that “Bulls” snore... LOUDLY. And Dixie is a woman of mystery. She is a mixed breed and has a tattoo on her belly. I'm not kidding: a real tattoo. We think she ran away from an evil carnie. We had a bodyguard for her for a while and it took some therapy before she was able to move on with her life.

MD: Which dog is more demanding of attention?

VM: Spike, always. He's the male.

MD: What is your favourite pastime to share with your dogs?

VM: Our favourite hike is with Cesar [Millan], “The Dog Whisperer.” He has a show on TV now. We go out with a whole pack of dogs… Pit Bulls and Shepherds and even a Yorkie.You can't imagine the power you feel running with a pack of dogs. It's primal. Cesar taught me how to be an alpha.

MD: Your dogs’ favourite possessions?

VM: They love their beds, but sometimes they will sleep together. That’s too cute. Spike snores very loudly so sometimes I have to ban him from my room. People, don't sleep with your dogs.

MD: Tell me about the last film that you did.

VM: It was Sideways, directed by Alexander Payne. It was like “actor camp.” I loved making this film, more than any other film I've ever done. Which says a lot ‘cause I love making movies.

MD: Is there anybody special you’d like to work with in your acting career?

VM: That's a hard one to answer. I'd love to work with Marty Davidson (Long Gone) or Dennis Hopper (Hot Spot) again. [Definitely] Alexander Payne. Also Nicholas Cage, Elias Koteas and Rusty Schwimmer (A Perfect Storm)—she’s my best friend. And of course, topping the list would be my bro’.

MD: Are there any scenes you’ve ever shared with a canine co-star?

VM: I have shared the screen with a dog before, but never a four legged one.

MD: What has been your favourite role to date?

VM: Besides Dixie in Long Gone it would be, hands down, Maya in Sideways.

MD: What are you working on now that you’re excited about?

VM: The talent show at my son’s school. He’s Elvis and he rocks so hard! The kids are my whole world right now. They inspire me to be just like them.

MD: If both of your dogs were able to speak, what do you think the first thing is that they would say to you?

VM: Feed us the cat or the dragon is toast! [Cisco, a bearded dragon, is another Madsen household member.]

MD: What do your animals mean to you?

VM: Animals are a way of filling my house with happy chaos. My son takes care of all of them—feeding, grooming, and even cleaning up after them. He’s learning so much from them, and we are a full house. And when Jack is with his Papa, my house isn't quite so empty.

Elizabeth Taylor's True Love

maggie — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:47:33 -0400

We know all about the tempestuous romances and ill-fated marriages, her violet eyes, larger-than-life beauty and enormous diamonds-but who'd ‘a thunk that doggies were this girl's best friend?

That's right, the actress we know and love for her unforgettable roles in Virginia Woolf, Cleopatra and Suddenly Last Summer, not to mention her marriages to Eddie Fisher and Richard Burton (among others), has harboured a lifelong passion for canine companionship.

Possessed not only of great beauty but of a sharp wit, Taylor once famously quipped, "Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses." She was referring, of course, to the beginning of her career when, as a ravishing teenager, she starred in The Courage of Lassie and National Velvet.

But dogs have been such a constant in Taylor's dramatic and often tumultuous life, one could well imagine her motto as: Look fabulous, damn the press, and put more faith in dogs than in men.

So enamoured was Taylor of her Maltese, Sugar, that in 1999 she almost refused to accept the title Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire from Queen Elizabeth upon learning that her pooch would have to stay at home despite her best efforts to lobby Downing Street. (Though she may now be addressed as "Dame Elizabeth" and was reportedly thrilled with the honour, Taylor quipped with typical wit and humility, "I've always been a broad, now I'm a dame.") And the U.K.'s draconian anti-rabies quarantine laws (recently relaxed) prompted Taylor to camp out on a yacht on the Thames in the mid-‘60s with her dogs and then-husband Richard Burton in tow.

She could well be a model for glam-girl pooch owners everywhere, and not only for her talent and beauty, steely determination and sheer survival instinct, but also for her humanitarian work with AIDS agencies. Taylor is deeply committed to the charitable work that earned her the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award in 1992. She helped form the American Foundation for AIDS Research (www.amfar.org) after the 1985 death of her friend and former co-star, Rock Hudson. She also created her own AIDS foundation, and by 1999 had helped raise an estimated $50 million dollars U.S. to fight the disease. Taylor was a pioneer in combatting prejudice over the disease at at time when much of Hollywood avoided the issue altogether for fear of "bad press." Her own daughter-in-law, Eileen Getty, was diagnosed with AIDS in 1985.

Perhaps the link between her dogs, her charity work and her personal life seems tenuous, but not if one considers what this Dame has been through: a difficult and lonely existence as a child star; a series of rocky marriages and public condemnation for her "immorality" (although she famously said, "I've only slept with men I've been married to. How many women can make that claim?"); an alcohol-fuelled love-hate relationship with Richard Burton that was so intense and volatile that Burton's last wife banned Taylor from his funeral; a near-death experience when she almost died of pneumonia in the 1950s; bouts in rehab clinics for substance abuse issues; and chronic health problems (she has broken her back five times, has survived a brain tumour and is currently suffering from congestive heart failure) that still plague her.

Through all that she managed to star in dozens of acclaimed movies, win two Academy Awards, and keep her sense of humour and glamour alive and well. As Taylor herself put it: "Success is a great deodorant. It takes away all your past smells." In tribute to her long career and enduring pluck, she was awarded the American Film Institute Life Achievement Award in 1993.

Taylor recently appeared in Bruce Weber's ethereal 2004 documentary A Letter to True, in which stories of her dogs and her life are interwoven in a moving narrative. In one scene Weber describes how Taylor called a friend of his who was dying of AIDS; with her gracious gesture, she altered the nature of the man's final days.

Since Taylor has survived the excesses of Hollywood for all these years, it seems natural that she would embrace spiritual (she believes in an afterlife, claims to be mildly psychic and is a great friend of Shirley MacLaine) as well as humanitarian values and respect for animals. Dame Elizabeth clearly identifies with the downtrodden, the outcasts and the vulnerable members of our society.

Dogs were there for the highs and the lows of Taylor's life-through the glam years of her riotous life with Burton in the ‘60s and ‘70s when champagne, caviar, furs, jewels and limo rides were as much a part of her pooches' lives as hers-and through the difficult times-helping to speed her recovery from various illnesses and relationship disasters.

While Richard Burton may remain the "love of her life," it's clear that canines have also played an important role in Taylor's world and continue to hold a special place in her big heart. Kudos to the marvellous Dame for her lifetime of achievement, talent and good works, and a few hearty bowwows of approval from the canine crowd!

All in a Day's Woof

maggie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:31:59 -0400

Water cooler conversation is changing these days.
"Rex's breath reeks of liver."
"I know, he's so delicious. But could he have his head any further up Buster's butt? I mean, come on!" "Now, now, don't get your hackles up. He's just bucking for a promotion to top dog."

First they were pets. Then they were family members. Now they're becoming colleagues. Dogs in the workplace are an increasingly common phenomenon. As dog lovers, we welcome this advance. But does your pet really belong in the office? With a little planning, a good portion of common sense, and sensitivity to your colleagues, the answer is a resounding "Yes!"

It's Bingo's first day at work. You're walking the Great Dane through the office, introducing him to everyone. It's going well. Until you reach the accounting apartment. For some reason, Bingo takes an intense interest in Bill, the payroll clerk. More precisely, Bingo starts sniffing the man's crotch intensely. You laugh nervously. Bill doesn't laugh at all. Looks like your cheque might be late this month. "Get him to sit," says Tara Szczygiel, the owner of Flying Dog Canine Training and Behaviour, based in Guelph, Ontario. She's referring to Bingo, not Bill. Interrupt the dog's quest with a Sit! command and then give him a food reward for his polite response.

The Fab Five

maggie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:54:12 -0400

Ask Nicole Wilde
My dog used to enjoy her top-of-the-line raw food diet but now turns up her nose at it - she only wants to eat what I'm eating. How do I get her interested in her own dinner? - Karine, Sarnia, ON

Dear Karine,
It's great that you are feeding a top-of-the-line raw diet. And if your dog were suddenly turning her nose up at food altogether, I would suggest a thorough vet exam. But in your case, it sounds as though she does have a healthy appetite-for your food. So the question becomes, why is she eating what you are eating? While it's awfully nice of you to share, is it possible that your dog is filling up on what you are offering to the point that she no longer wants her own meals?

If you stop sharing your food, your dog will most likely go back to eating her own meals. After all, no dog will starve itself. It wouldn't hurt to re-evaluate the balance of foods in your raw food plan and to have her checked out by a vet just in case. But I'll bet that once you stop being so generous, your dog will go back to eating her own meals in short order.

Nicole Wilde, CPDT
Nicole Wilde holds a B.A. Degree with a heavy emphasis on psychology. She is a Certified Pet Dog Trainer (CPDT) who specializes in behavior issues, and a professional member of the Association of Pet Dog Trainers (APDT). Nicole runs Gentle Guidance Dog Training in Southern California, training owners to work with their dogs' obedience and behavior issues.

Ask Teoti Anderson
Q: Whenever my dog, Rose, or another dog at work gets a new bed, Rose will go over and pee on it right away. She does this to her new beds at home, too, where she is the only dog. Why does she do this and how should I deal with it? I've only once caught her in the act but we all know it's her. - Zachariah, Tucson, AZ.

Dear Zach,
It may be that Rose is marking the bed as "hers." It may be that somewhere along the line she learned it was okay to pee on beds. We can spend hours wondering why, but Rose can't tell us her motivation! Instead, let's spend our energy working on the real problem: Rose isn't housetrained. She thinks it's fine to pee indoors.

Before you address the issue, make sure she's really the culprit, or you will spend your time training the wrong dog! I suggest you start from scratch, as if you were training a puppy to be housetrained, and follow these guidelines:

* Supervise Rose at all times, or confine her if you can't watch her like a hawk. If you give her the freedom to pee on beds, you're setting her up to practice that behaviour. And practice makes perfect! Your goal is to take away any opportunities she has to pee on beds. If you're watching her, then you are in position to prevent the behaviour.

* Place her new bed on the floor and watch her. If she looks like she's about to pee, clip on her leash and rush her outside to potty. If she eliminates outside, praise her and give her a treat.

* If you do catch her peeing on the bed, just use a stern "No!", clip on her leash and run her outside to potty. If she finishes eliminating outside, praise her and give her a treat. Never rub her nose in her mess or use physical punishment with your dog. In addition to a housetraining problem, you could cause an aggression or fear problem. If you don't catch her in the act, don't bother scolding her later...she won't understand. Instead, work harder to supervise her more closely next time.

Ask Dr.Ian Dunbar
Q: My Chihuahua, Crystal, hates men. This is ruining my chances for romance. What should I do? - Leila, San Jose, CA

Dear Leila,
It is unlikely that Crystal "hates" men. Hate is an inimitably human foible. More likely, Crystal is fearful of men. Indeed, being afraid of men is very common for dogs living with single women, since the dogs have had little opportunity to interact with men on a daily basis. What Crystal needs now is what she has always needed since puppyhood-the opportunity to socialize with men-lots of them. The resolution to the problem is going to be pretty easy and, of course, man-socialization for Crystal also means man-socialization for you.

Ask Dog Lady

maggie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:56:48 -0400

Dear Dog Lady:
When I shower in the morning, I find my dog, Sadie, a Pekinese/Poodle mix, staring at me. I am not sure I am okay with that. What do you think?
- Grant, Irving, TX

Grant, gotcha covered. Dog Lady used to experience the same uneasiness when darling dog gave her the hairy eyeball during naked moments in the bathroom or bedroom. Now, our relationship is totally comfortable and I'd feel even more exposed without my terrier voyeur fixing his intensity on me constantly. In fact, it kind of hurts my feelings when angel gets bored, turns on his paws and walks away. I want to ask, "So what did you expect? Chopped liver?"

A dog's fixed gaze can reflect back our insecurities about our bodies or ourselves. Don't let it rattle you. Sadie loves you so much she is transfixed when you lather up your armpits every morning. No human would ever be that devoted.

Britney vs. Spot

maggie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:36:38 -0400

ATTICUS. BARNEY. CHARLIE. ESTHER. FLOSSIE. GEORGE. No, not characters in your favourite old Bobsey Twins book, just a sprinkling of celebrities' dogs' names. (Okay, celebrities and one Modern Dog staffer.) A little bit of (very fun) research, and an intimate relationship with everyone's good friend Google, and accessing that all-important list of Hollywood's dogs is mere seconds away.

From Jennifer Aniston and the main man in her life, Norman, to Sienna Miller's two most loyal pals, Porgy and Bess, there is one dog clearly missing from the list. And if I could somehow squeeze in a Shakespearean pun-of-a-hint without it feeling too forced, this is where I would say: "Out, damn Spot!" But since that would be nothing short of an embarrassingly dad-like eye-roller, instead I ask: What ever happened to baby Spot?

Quiz: What Kind of Dog Are You?

maggie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:00:31 -0400

You've counted so many sheep you now cringe at the sight of wool. You've paced the floor so much, you've worn a path in the carpet. But still, the insomnia rages on.

Like countless others, you, too, have been plagued with an answerless question. Night after night, that question has been going around in your brain like a hamster on a wheel. Well, get ready for a good night's sleep, because you are just 15 questions away from uncovering the answer to the puzzle: If you were a dog, what kind would you be?

The Quiz
1. Your friend is throwing a "hat party." Everyone invited
must come wearing their favourite hat. No problem. Yours
is hanging by the door. It's a:
a) Racing helmet (complete with goggles, of course!).
b) Sherlock Holmes hat.
c) Fisherman's hat.
d) Fleece toque.
e) Cowboy hat.
f) Forget the hat! You'll wreck your perfect hair!

Medicine for the Mind

maggie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:39:23 -0400

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, with virtually all of the humans who actually wanted to leave the city of New Orleans either rescued or evacuated, we began to see pictures of other victims of the disaster. Television screens now carried images of dogs stranded on rooftops. One video clip showed a dog swimming through the foul water desperately trying to reach a rescue boat after its owners were forced to abandon him. Other scenes showed sad starving animals on balconies or staring out of windows. Such mournful sights stirred the emotions of many who saw them and questions began to be asked. In one press conference, Michael Brown, the director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), was asked by a reporter "What about the dogs and cats that have been stranded?" His response began "They are not our concern..."

A short while before Katrina hit, FEMA had gone through a disaster preparedness exercise which involved a mythical hurricane, "Pam," hitting the U.S. Gulf coast. Extensive computer simulations and hands-on practice by search and rescue, police, military and civil authorities, engineers, and medical experts were involved. When Ivor Van Heerden, a hurricane researcher from Louisiana State University who helped direct the simulation exercise, was asked about preparations to save pets, he answered, "They were not part of our plans because they are not considered to be important." The actual disaster that followed would prove such planners to be wrong. Many people who live with animals consider them important enough to risk their own personal safety to keep their pets from harm.

Social Faux Paws

maggie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:33:28 -0400

Picture it. The rolling lawns of a Beverly Hill Estate in California decked with tables for a posh afternoon English tea party. Chilled champagne with a plump strawberry is the drink du jour and the sounds of social chitchat and laughter are offset by a string quartet providing background mood music. Suddenly, a red convertible zooms up the driveway and out jumps a boisterous Golden Retriever barking madly. He rushes to the nearest white Iceberg rose bush and lifts his leg, narrowly missing the cellist. His pet parent, after handing her car keys to the valet, ambles over, pats her pup on the head and tells him to "go play" before heading off to greet her hostess and mingle with the other guests.

What the uninvited canine did next managed to lift even Botoxed brows. He nipped around to investigate the tables laden with food and "taste-tested" the quiches and assorted sandwiches, leaving guests to pick their way through what remained.

The hostess, furious at the owner's unconcern over her pet's social "faux paw" had to send an urgent SOS to her caterer and vowed to remove the guilty interloper's parent from her guest list forever.

Ask Dog Lady

maggie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:50:51 -0400

Dear Dog Lady,
At a recent dinner party, the hostess allowed her dog to lick our plates after e ate. She called it the "Lucy Lab pre-rinse" and asked us to put our plates on the floor while the Labrador Retriever licked them clean. I don't have a dog and am unused to such unsanitary behaviour. Is this customary?
Dina, Toronto, ON

Dina, usually the plate-licking practice happens more discreetly. Your hostess lacked proper judgment when she allowed the prerinse to become part of the party. Understandably, this display was not the palate cleansing you had in mind. Often dog keepers forget pet politesse. They just assume everyone will think it adorable when lovable Lucy laps up the remnants of the salmon remoulade. Dog Lady has been guilty of this and cringes when she thinks of how it plays to the uninitiated. Your letter provides a good reminder that private Rover rituals should not be flaunted when company comes.

Also, not all people foods are good for dogs-think onions-so letting doggies lap indiscriminately off dinner plates is not always the best idea.

Dognapped!

maggie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:07:07 -0400

A few seconds was all it took for cchihuahua pup Lupé to slip out the door and into the hands of an opportunistic thief. She was at work in Vancouver with owner Emily Olmstead when the door was accidentally left ajar. Despite Emily's swift action to find her, Lupé's whereabouts are still a mystery. "I miss her more than anything in this world and I don't think I could ever have a dog again," says a distraught Olmstead, who spent the end of last summer scouring the city streets and putting up posters during her heartbreaking search.

While Lupé was snatched in broad daylight, Husky Keymo was taken from his yard in Jacksonville, Florida, in the dead of night. Just after midnight in February, his owner Ella Jones returned to her home and let Keymo off the leash in the front yard. In the time it took her to get ready for bed, Keymo was gone. She noticed food on the sidewalk and believes he was lured away. In the days following his disappearance, she talked to neighbours, handed out posters to everyone she met, drove around nearby streets, and contacted local radio and TV stations. She also posted his profile on the Petfinder.com website and put up a reward for the much-missed puppy. "A co-worker gave him to me from her litter and the first time I saw him, I loved him," says Jones, her voice shaking with emotion. "He was a companion, he was like my child and I just want him back home."

Emily and Ella, like a growing number of owners, have become victims of criminals who see companion animals as a quick and easy way to make a buck.

New Orleans’ Orphans

maggie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:39:15 -0400

The dirty, skinny collie sprinted down the runway as my plane descended into Louis Armstrong Airport, swerving off the pavement to escape the roaring bird that chased him. Slipping through a hole in the fence, he was gone. The airport, one of the few gathering places left as people travelled in and out of the deserted ruins,likely lured the hungry dog because of its garbage output.

It was the first glimpse of the horror I would witness in New Orleans in the days ahead, just four weeks after Hurricane Katrina's August 29, 2005, blow caused the levees to break, washing water as high as 20 feet over the city's neighbourhoods. Evacuees fleeing for their lives were prohibited from bringing pets into buses and shelters. Now the animals inhabited the city alone.