Ask Dog Lady

Q:
Dear Dog Lady,
My family, which includes my husband, who’s an emergency room physician, my eight-year-old son, ten-year old daughter and I, are all going to New Zealand for six months on a sabbatical. We believe this will be a fantastic experience for everyone. My husband will be consulting to a hospital in Auckland while the children will be enrolled in New Zealand schools. We plan to do a lot of traveling and enjoying life in another country. There is one problem: Because of the animal quarantine laws, we can’t bring our beloved Yorkshire Terrier, Dagny. We are now deciding about arrangements for Dagny’s care.

Friends of my daughter usually mind our dog when we go away. This has been fine with us because they seem to care for Dagny very much. They have now volunteered to watch her for the whole six months. But they have asked for joint custody of the dog when we return. The parents of my daughter’s friend fear their children will become overly attached and it will be wrenching to give up Dagny completely when we return.
Their request sounds sensible to me, but it still makes me feel weird. What do you think of this?

— Ania, Boston, MA

A:
Ania, yup, at first blush, it does sound a bit weird. However, if you deconstruct their proposal, you can understand the request is perfectly reasonable and may even work out for the best. While you’re off stalking the wild kakapo, you can be assured that Dagny is being loved as one of a family—the situation she has been accustomed to in your home. Her new caretakers are not strangers. They know her lovable quirks and routines. They are stakeholders, investors in her health and welfare. This is the benefit of the arrangement. A lot can change in six months. Dagny will never forget you and she will be happy to see you when you return. However, if she has blended into a new family, she will inevitably bond to them and vice versa. Her world will have expanded and you must accommodate her growth.